After-party Snack – Short Story

As I mentioned in my last blog post Wattpad vs Write On?… What Say You? I am now using the Write On by Kindle site to post my stories and get some feedback and critique. It has been going good so far and I’ve really been enjoying exploring stories and connecting with other authors out there.

Every week there are different activities that you can take part in. One of these is Feedback Friday which I participated in yesterday and from June 19-21 or Friday to Sunday its the Weekend Write-In Creative Challenge.

The challenge for this week is: In 500 words, imagine what happens when a vehicle breaks down in a strange place? 

I used 499 words! 🙂 You can let me know what you think!

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“It’s a porty in thu USA!!”

Jason and Gretchen slurred heavily as they rocked along to their favorite jam blaring from the radio. They were both tipsy from chugging down handsome mugs of beer all night at Jimmy’s party. It was a miracle they were both still coherent as they sped along the pitch black stretch of road that was wet from the heavy down pour only a few hours ago.

It was nearly 1am, and they were heading back to Jason’s crib for a little after party. The second hand Honda Civic sputtered and rumbled along, as Jason floored the gas pedal and pushed it way past its limits. The car was fair in giving them warning signs of failure, but loud music coupled with foggy brains is a recipe for disaster.

“Nodding ma head like yeah.” They shouted in off key tones.

Jason nodded, and right at that moment missed their turn off.  The new road was bumpy and laced with pot holes. This was the last straw for the Honda as it swerved violently then came to a complete stop.

“Ow!” Grethen squealed. “I hit my head!” She touched the spot and jerked her hand back as pain radiated from the area.

She looked over at Jason who she only now realized was very quiet. He was slumped over the dashboard like a crash dummy.  His chest was on the steering wheel and the top of his head rested against the cracked windshield. Blood was pouring from the wound on his head in an unnatural way. All intoxication left Gretchen’s body and she was immediately jerked into action.

“Oh my gosh! Jase?”

Tears streamed down her face as she reached over to shake Jason. She stared to panic when she heard nothing. With all her strength she pulled him off the steering wheel and back down into the seat. He groaned and his head flopped heavily to the right like a rag doll.

“Jase? Jase baby please talk to me!” Gretchen cried as she tried to wake him once again.

She quickly located her cellphone and tried to send a call out.

“Damn it!” No signal.” She tried Jason’s phone and it was dead.

She thought about starting the car but the thick white smoke belting from the hood made her decide against it.

Gretchen opened the car door and wobbled out onto the bumpy road. She peered around in the darkness, trying to see where they were. An ear shattering wolf howl pierced the eerie silence of the dark night nearly making her jump out of her skin.

Just up the road Cane, licked the thick, red blood from his lips and paws and tossed the limp body of the policeman aside. He cast his nose toward the night sky and inhaled deeply.

“Food is in abundance tonight,” he thought as he dismounted the squad car in one fluid move.

He shifted back into human form as he took off running in the opposite direction.

Wattpad vs Write On? What Say You?

The Wattpad Story

As an aspiring writer, I’m always on the lookout for free avenues or sites to share my work and get constructive feedback and critique. I stumbled upon Wattpad back when I got my first Blackberry phone in 2011.

I had always been an avid reader since childhood and so I wanted apps that I could access quickly and easily in the palm of my hand. Excited by this thought, I typed the word “books” into Blackberry Application World and out jumped Wattpad at the top of the list.

I wasted no time in downloading and using it. I still remember that the first story I read was called “Immortal” by a very talented writer. The genre was fantasy, which I’m not really fond of, but all in all, it was a great story. I’ve been using the Wattpad platform ever since.

It wasn’t until 2014 – when inspired by a friend who posted a short One-Shot story – that I started writing and posting my first story on the site. Since then I’ve grown a lot in my writing,  as I continuously strive to develop and re-invent myself. Much of this growth however, I cannot attribute to being a part of Wattpad.

Since being on the site I have made some observations. Now these are my personal views and opinions. My aim is not to put down or speak negatively about the site. So here goes:

• It seems to me that Wattpad is mostly used by teenagers and younger people and not more mature readers, which is why I find it’s not a haven for constructive feedback and critique. Let me point out that I’m not saying young readers can’t give good feedback for they can. I just think some of them are so eager to get to the end of the story that they forget about that all important part – letting the writer know what you thought of his/her effort. Yes, readers will ask you to “PLEASE UPDATE!” but that’s not feedback, just a very rude comment. Asking me to update can’t help me in any way, shape, or form. It’s just frustrating when your inbox is overflowing with a lot of these impatient requests and demands.

• Some readers also get ‘overly attached’ to your story and can attack and insult you if the storyline doesn’t go the way they think it should or want it to. Yes, you want readers to love your story and empathize with the characters but not to the point of obsession and attacking you in the process.

• Writers who don’t focus on certain genres such as fantasy, werewolf, paranormal or fan fiction can easily get left by the wayside and not have their stories given the time of day, because they choose not to write on these “hot topics.” I have seen great stories that don’t even have 10 reads or any votes. I mean the main reason for writing should be because you love it, it’s an avenue to express yourself and its quite relaxing…at least that’s why I do it. The main reason should not be to get reads or votes, but they do “sweeten the pot” and encourage you to go on when you have down days. They let you know that what you are doing is reaching someone and is connecting with them on some level. They help to inspire and motivate writers.

The Write On Discovery

Write On by Kindle is a “reading and writing community from Kindle” where according to the site, you can “read new stories, give and get feedback and share your work in progress.”

I’ve been a part of this community since April 2015 and so far I’m loving it. The only thing I think Write On needs is an app like Wattpad. I actually found out about the site through a blog post I found randomly one day.

The author recommended the site and said he was using it, so I thought “what have I got lose?” Signing up was fairly easy; you sign in through your Amazon account and I already had one, so there was no hassle at all. After that, you just add your story title, description, tags etc. similar to Wattpad.

What makes the difference with Write On for me is the feedback that I’ve received since joining just two months ago, compared to being on Wattpad for more than a year.

What I like about Write On is when you’re posting a story you get to select the type of feedback you’re looking for from the readers. I ask for feedback on Characters, Setting, Voice/Tone and Plot.

The first reader that commented on my story took the time to go into intricate details about what she thought was good about my story and what she thought I could improve on.

As a fellow writer herself who has been on the site longer than I have, I found her feedback and critique quite useful and I’ve actually used it to give my story more depth. I was able to view how my story was seen through the eye of a reader and how I could make it better and help them connect with it more. I have received more feedback since then which I’m very thankful for.

I also find that more mature readers and writers seem to be on this site and so far I haven’t seen any comments on stories demanding updates. There is also a Forum as well where you can ask questions and get them answered by staff or other community members.

I will keep using Wattpad, this doesn’t mean that I’ll stop. Over the years I have read some GREAT stories from AWESOME writers that have touched or inspired me in one way or another. What I’ll do is keep exploring both sites and see what needs one site doesn’t fill, that the other can.

I hope this has been helpful and informative for you and please do try out both sites and see which one you can use to satisfy your needs!

Until next time…..